Words and Music by Nicolas Scott
My heart is heavy for you
As I wait in line
For my number to be called
There’s really nothing else to do
Except yell at other bystanders
And tell some dirty jokes
I spent a lot of time
Drinking red wine
And life was fine
Clean out the attic and bring up the basement
Sticker and tag it now I must face it
Parts of my soul that once made me whole
Are starting to fail
My life is for sale
It’s not as perfect as I thought
When you lose your mind
And then remember where you put it
I took some time to be caught
After my love left home
There was no reason left to fight it
Life was always fine
Drinking red wine
Then we ran out of time
Babe I’m coming home to you
I’ll be dressed in white
Like I was that night
Tell me everything that’s new
What do they serve up here
Can I get a beer?
This song started off on a ride home from an estate sale in New Hampshire. I was helping my neighbor move a piece of furniture that he had just purchased. It was a Sunday, the last day of the sale, and we (a bunch of shoppers) were just rummaging through this large old house. Imagine you took your house as it is today and just put it up for sale without changing a thing. That’s what it was like.
Clothing, beard trimmers, tennis rackets, scuba gear, a piano, door knobs, books–you name it–was laying out for the taking. It was kind of weird; and it struck me on the ride home that I, along with many others, just trampled through the place where this man and his family spent a good number of years living, making memories, eating, crying and collecting stuff. And now it was a flea market.
The lyrics for the chorus were written on the ride home.
The rest of the song was written a few weeks later when my grandmother entered hospice. She had been struggling with dementia and ultimately found herself bedridden with 2 broken hips. Evidently she was belligerent (I can imagine why) which is the complete opposite of how she ever was when she was “normal.” It was probably a combination of the drugs and the situation that made her that way.
I couldn’t help but think what she would have thought about herself, had her mind been all there. So I sort of internalized that and wrote this from the first person perspective. There’s definitely some of her personality in the song. If you knew her, I think you know what I mean.
I played this song at her funeral mass (I know, it has no place in the mass). I almost lost it during the bridge, but thankfully the mess of natural reverb in the church covered that up. Thanks gram.